The little girl that still lives inside of me, who is a part of me, is always in the background of my mind, reminding me that people cannot be trusted, and people will eventually leave.
This little girl is restless and relentless, she paces through my mind, tripping over every legitimate thought that flows on around her.
For years, I have been trying to quiet her through a variety of tactics.
Weed numbs her out the best, while alcohol comes in second.
I have taken away the latter from myself, and this little girl is now sneaking around and peeking around corners.
With the threat of shedding the rest of these tactics, her voice becomes louder.
“Take care of me.”
That’s all this poor little girl wants.
That is all she speaks.
How can I care for this part of me, who attaches herself to everyone I meet?
She consistently plants the seed that I will be neglected and abandoned, again.
This thinking worked for me then, when I was her age.
Now, her thinking is no longer serving me.
She is no longer serving me.
It becomes instantly clear.
We must live together, combine forces and coping skills, share stories and memories, and become friends with one another, in order to survive this life.
Now, the challenge will be fighting my fears, and meeting with that little girl, so eager to speak, so eager to connect.
Wish us luck.